With its inept former board, massive losses, and harbouring of tax evaders, UBS is the uncoolest thing about Switzerland after Nazi gold and Lewis Hamilton. The U.S. powers-that-be have decided that UBS’s tax evasion antics must be stopped, and they were set to finally start court proceedings today to get the bank to reveal the names of those American customers who are too stingy to pay for “little people” things like schools and roads. But UBS could now wriggle out of a damaging court battle, as the hearing has been postponed for three weeks so a settlement can potentially be thrashed out.

Switzerland values secret banking as much as America values arms-bearing, so having the U.S. demand they reveal the names of their customers is extremely contentious. They gave them 250 names, but only through an administrative error earlier this year; that list has led to the arrest of the likes of Steven Rubenstein and Robert “Project Apostrophe” Moran. Amid all this mess UBS has also had to fire thousands of staff and shake up its board.

The Department of Justice said that any settlement that UBS can strike will “necessarily” involve the handover of a “significant number” of names; the Swiss government has said it will issue a blocking order to prevent the handover of names if the U.S. court rules against UBS, and seize UBS data to prevent the U.S. getting their hands on it. It looks like UBS would rather pay a fine than give up more names; if customers didn’t feel like they could bank away from the pesky, morally sound eyes of the law, UBS could stand to lose a lot of revenue from potential defectors.

For all the boldness of the U.S., it’s really looking unlikely that they’ll get all the 52,000 names they want – the Swiss really aren’t budging on what they see is a civil right. When you’re arguing over an issue that each party sees as having the moral high-ground in, it’s inevitably going to end in tears. Or some serious diplomatic wrangling. The U.S. is likely to get names that are potentially linked to fraud – Switzerland doesn’t grant anonymity to fraudulent bank accounts, or ones use to disguise fraud elsewhere. According to the WSJ, 7,000 accounts could be fraudulent in some way, and will be the most likely to get revealed. After that, the settlement will grind away in litigious .

If you’re an American tax evader who banks with UBS, and you’re worried about what all this could mean for your social standing/tax bill/ski habits, then maybe you should think about the government’s offer of a civil penalty, which sees you pay up a chunk of back taxes but not then face any further nastiness. Or, like on a gameshow, ignore that and instead gamble for the chance of not getting found out at all. But if UBS crack, and your name pops up, then you can expect a jail sentence. You’ve got nine weeks to decide – after that the offer dies and you’ll just have to pray that Switzerland can stand up to the U.S. in this diplomatic face-off. Good luck with that one!